


Gay or European?

by Magicalmanda



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: M/M, crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicalmanda/pseuds/Magicalmanda
Summary: Ariadne and the team's new chemist can't figure out if Eames is gay or European. Arthur eventually gets sick of their bickering and puts the whole thing to rest.
Relationships: Arthur/Eames (Inception)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 184





	Gay or European?

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a wonderful youtube video. The song is from the Legally Blonde musical   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oywhaWk03Ho

“What do you think Arthur?” Ariadne asked suddenly. Arthur looked up from the notes he was pouring over instead of listening to the two younger girls next to him. 

Having another college-aged girl in the group had brought out a side of their young architect that Arthur had never seen. A more bubbly, school-girl side. Arthur had to wonder if Ariadne didn’t have a new crush on their chemist prodigy. 

“Hmm?” Arthur hummed as he turned a page in his moleskin. 

“Eames,” Sophie prompted. “We’re trying to figure out if he’s gay. I think he is but Ariadne says-” 

“He’s just European,” Ariadne cut in. “Well? You’ve known him forever. Where was he born?” 

“I don’t know,” Arthur said and tried to hide a smirk. He wasn’t necessarily lying, he didn’t know the exact place Eames was born, but he knew the answer to their bigger question. Sophie gave a frustrated sigh. 

“I-just look at the shirt he’s wearing,” Sophie said, nodding over to Eames. The man in question was practicing his forge in front of a mirror, his mustard yellow shirt fighting tight in the shoulders. “That’s gay.” 

“Oh please, that style was big in Paris a few years ago.” And Ariadne would know, she lived there. 

“Okay, what about his hair, the styling. Do you know a straight guy who styles that much?” 

“Look at Arthur!” Arthur felt his brow arch. Were they really that oblivious? Well if they couldn’t peg Eames Arthur doubted they could peg him. 

“Arthur’s is more for professional I think. Eames is just his personal style.” 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Arthur asked pointedly. Ariadne rolled her eyes. 

“It will be an hour before Cobb is in.” That was true. Cobb had confined himself to do jobs in the states, but even then it was hard for him to leave his children before breakfast. 

“Well I am working, go find someone else to test your theory.” 

“You two are the only ones here,” Sophie whined. 

“Call Yusuf or something. Eames practically lived with him in Mombasa.” 

“You’re a genius Arthur,” Ariadne exclaimed, but Arthur caught the narrowed eyed look Sophie gave him. Their chemist was quickly distracted when Ariadne pulled her halfway across the empty office floor they were using. 

They reconvened at lunch. Eames was conveniently out tailing a forgery. 

“Yusuf was no help,” Ariadne sighed as she unwrapped her deli sandwich. “Said Eames never mentioned relationships or his childhood. But he’s gotta be British, that accent!” 

“The few things I know about Eames is that he’s moved around a lot,” Arthur said. “And he’s a forger, it’s in his nature to pick up traits.” 

“Think about it, that isn’t a true British accent,” Sophie jumped in. “He’s gay.” 

“Who’s gay?” Cobb asked, coming up behind their group. 

“Eames!” Sophie said. 

“Or he’s European,” Ariadne said just as strongly. “What do you think, you’ve known him the longest.” Cobb stood and pondered for a moment, his jaw working. Arthur guessed that Cobb was realizing how poor his observation skills were, especially since he met Eames when Mal was still alive and playing hard to get. 

“Hard to tell,” is all he could come up with. “Besides, Arthur met him before I did.” 

“You did?” 

“By like five minutes,” Arthur said, suddenly thrown that Cobb remembered that little fact. Arthur and Eames had been the first ones to a dinner meeting. Mal and Cobb were probably off somewhere making out. 

“Well?” Ariadne asked. 

“It’s not like five minutes makes me an expert. He didn’t exactly introduce himself with Hi I’m Eames and I’m gay.” The girls thankfully dropped it but Arthur knew it wouldn’t be the end of it. 

The deliberation stretched on for days and threatened to turn into weeks. Little things were noted and refuted. 

“Ciao!” Eames called to the warehouse at large one day before he ran to pick up lunch. Ariadne raised her eyebrows across the table at Sophie. 

“Inconclusive,” Sophie said simply and Ariadne rolled her eyes. 

“Look at that smirk,” Ariadne hissed later the same day. Sophie’s eyes shot to Eames. “That’s a straight man jerk smirk.” If the women had turned to see what Eames had been smirking at, they would see Arthur with pink-tinted ears and an uncharacteristically distracted look on his face. The women were distracted themselves in their bickering and didn’t notice. 

They thought they had finally found an answer when the team went out for a drink that night and Eames spent several long minutes chatting up a woman at the bar. 

“Told you,” Ariadne said triumphantly. Sophie pouted into her beer. 

“Not so fast,” Cobb said and they all looked to see Eames returning to their table alone and the woman still planted firmly on her bar stool. 

“What happened Eames?” Ariadne asked once the forger was sitting down. “She turn you down?” 

“What?” Eames asked, perplexed. “I was just admiring her purse.” 

“Oh?” Sophie asked with a poorly suppressed smirk. 

“Yeah I’ve been trying to forge it for ages,” Eames said, oblivious to the falling faces around him. “Talking to her gave me a good chance to eye the details.” 

“Back to square one,” Cobb muttered around his glass. 

“Ugh, I might just have to ask him out,” Sophie groaned the next day. She was getting tired of waiting. 

“What?” Arthur and Ariadne said at the same time. 

“I mean, he’s hot. The muscles, his beard. I should have asked him out a long time ago.” Sophie had her chin in her hand and was staring across the warehouse at Eames, who for some reason was shirtless. Arthur felt his blood boil. 

“Alright, this is enough!” Arthur called loudly as he stood up. Everyone stared at him. “I know the answer to the question on everyone’s mind.” 

“You do?!” 

“Eames is gay and European.” The room was quiet for a moment before everyone erupted with questions. Arthur felt Eames come up behind him. 

“How do you know Arthur?” Ariadne called over the confusion and everyone quieted to hear the answer. Eames beat him to the punch. 

“Well, he’s only been shagging me for a year.” The room erupted in noise again but Arthur didn’t care because Eames had caught his hip and was kissing him. 

“I love you, darling,” Eames whispered against his mouth. 

“I love you too.”


End file.
